mojo pin

what's the meaning of this
the littered wreckage
the dark secret
monkey
that tenses
neck muscles

this is my confession
slave that i am
to the heartache
i cannot bear
and whatever other threat
there may be to offer
perhaps none greater
than the thought
of facing that monster
what i am
without you

as when you were gone
i simply replaced you
with my mojo pin
delicately hidden
amongst the clever
tendrils of intellectual
bullshit
big words

till this pin has become
my black beauty
my goddess of defeat
my preemptive excuse
for every ridiculous
implosion

and though the matter
is far from finished
it is an event
of some significance
that drunker than sailors
i see you
for what you
are