meditation on the four arya truths

** disclaimer: this post is submitted as a meditation by a novice.  i don't actually know anything much.  only sometimes is it my unbelievable good fortune as a stupid and imperfect being, to ride the substantial blessing of inspiration of my teachers.  this post is therefore submitted with a considerable amount of exuberance which may come across as an authority which i freely and openly confess, i do not have.  also, whenever one writes about a topic such as ultimate truth with even a tiny bit of understanding, which is far more than i have, even,  there is a tendency to get a big soap-boxy and self-important head.  may that not be so here.  i am, and have been ever, the very bottom of my class.

still
the trappings of a room
space inside the spacious
and welcoming heart
it's a quiet place
by some measure
but in the thoughts
that pop hear
louder earthquakes
rumble

it's a covert space
where the spy may observe
the sinister devil
execute the evil scheme
the undoing
of all truest hopes
and purest thoughts
for the universe full
of kind angels

it's not correct
that one comes here
to be happy
not directly
if one is fortunate
beyond imagination
one finds here
the reason
that happiness
is impossible

that reason has a name
that has two meanings
and senses
it's called
"me"

the first sense is benign
harmless and conventional
it's just "me"
the bundle of parts
thoughts
perceptions
feelings
other stuff
awarenesses
blood and guts and bones
that moves
even in stillness
always

the second sense
is the residue of the demon
the devil's calling card
subtle
scarcely distinguishable
from its harmless
sibling

this "me" is characterized
by possession
ownership
just that
and may be found
in the harmless thought

"that"
is "mine"

by itself
this thought poses
no threat
it's correct
and natural

but let some natural force
act upon "that"
whatever that object is
and notice in what passes
the devil's grisly face

for the monster's form
can always be found
in the suffix thought
some conjoining idea
to the harmless
assertion

ergo
therefore

it's frankly difficult
to say much more
one need only
consider the implications
of the ergo
of the therefore
may it be left to the reader
to sort out
the rest
truthful audit
of experience
always yields
the tragedy

in truth
what may a being
any being
ever make
out of the ergo
out of the therefore

nothing

hear
the point is
that the mine-ness of
"that"
does not carry with it
some reasonable
right
or expectation
as is suggested
by every devil feature
of this realm

it is precisely the case
that the mine-ness
carries with it

nothing

if there ever was
a truly existing object
called right
or rights
to the object
"that"
then it must
naturally occur
automatically
without any further
effort at all

furthermore
all beings
and forces
would naturally
and without the slightest
resistance
comply

forget about choice
it would
just happen
like night follows day
like water droplet
follows
water droplet
over the falls

however
every mine-ness
police force
exercises
a non-existent power
of coercion
to prove
its non-existent
ownership

it says
this is mine
and therefore
i must be happy
i must have satisfaction
i must have justice
i must have
what's mine

and this
is the great brutal trick
of the devil

for in the implication
in the hint
that the ergo
the therefore
provides
rises a host
of tormenting
thought-saddled demons
who ride on the crest
of the incorrect
emotional response
that the assertion
is correct
that "that is mine" is naturally true
like the cycle of day and night
and the falling of water
over a ledge

and this emotional response
makes a universe
which can never
ever
be happy
which can never
ever
be at peace

this emotional response
takes the concrete form
of a "me"
which is not benign
and correct
but which is laden
with rights
with litigation
and confrontation
and in confronting
with heartache
and with heartache
addiction
and with addiction
sickness
and with sickness
old age
and death

but the devil
has a far deeper
hold
than the simple
understanding
of the correctness
of this argument

the devil's trap was sprung
eons before
the birth of the reader
in brief
the emotional response
is completely
involuntary

forget choice
it's just what
a suffering being
"me"
does

fight
for what
is mine

inverse
a being who does not
exhibit this emotional response
to the implication
to the hint
does not suffer
is happy
naturally
without coercion
or play
like the cycle of day and night
like the fall of water
over a ledge

hear
there are two important
implications
to this assertion

short term
one may understand
why pain
why confusion
why hurt

however this is cold comfort sure

for understanding
without direct perception
of this highest truth
according to the author's experience
hardly heals
the malady

long term
one may understand
the age old question
why am i
alive

here the the conclusion
is simple to understand
but difficult
beyond the author's ability
to execute

however
it is firsted
by every holy being
who ever trod
the surface
of this fortunate
blue dot

give
defeat the devil
with giving
it's the only way
so says every far greater being
that ever also sat
in such stillness
give the victory away
give the riches away
give the place in line away
give the honor away
give the job away
give the security away
give the prestige away
give the body and the life away

but only ever do so
for the return
to liberate
every single being
there ever was
including "me"
from the clutches
of the devil

never accept any return
less
than this
not some castle in the hamptons
not an suv
not a great family
not wealth beyond counting

who cares
if it all
comes to naught

it's a soft and subtle
and intensely private thing
and it must be secret thing
none may ever know
of the plan
besides the devil
itself
and every countless angel
of aid
who gushes
every possible blessing
and payload
to assist this secret
and universe-balance-holding
warfare

to every other person one sees
one may appear as a normal
everyday
relatively happy being
although at some point
one's burgeoning happiness
will be impossible
to conceal
nor should it be

but every pure act of gift
which is not executed
with an understanding
of the devil's great trick
is lost to the devil
for if one
ever
ever
forgets
that the right implied
in the thought
"that is mine"
never existed anyway
and falls into the expectation
of recompense
for giving
the devil
will only feed
its hungry gut

so every act of giving
is an act of holy violence
against the incorrect idea
that possession existed
in the first place
or more correctly
that the "me"
to whom such possession
applied
existed truly
naturally
and so on

and that's it
that's all
the meaning of life
just defeat that idea
that pervasive
insidious
wrong
devil idea
with wisdom
and love

and watch
with unimaginable delight
what passes

every offering
to the teacher
who speaks every thought
every idea
every motion
to the receptive
and hopeful
heart

hear

namaste